Archive for July, 2013

30
Jul
13

this is a bad day

By thissideofgaudy Leave a Comment
Categories: Children, Family and Medical
Tags: , , , ,

Once more, one of RTA’s brothers-in-arms has killed himself. I often joke about “RTA’s ‘little friends'”, but in reality, their association with my child has made them my sons. And now, another of my children is dead. I often hear of programs designed to prevent such things, but they don’t seem to be helping much from my point of view. I can no longer count (although I am sure RTA can remind me) how many he and I have lost. RTA and one of my other sons have an idea that I think will probably be more effective since they have been there. My prayer is now that they will find the funds, the will and the help to succeed. I am willing to do anything to help them. Anything to save my boys. If I hurt this much at this remove, I cannot imagine how RTA and AVB (Andrew of the Volleyball), his business partner, feel.

At the same time, IRP is in the hospital with the doctors trying one more thing to clear the blockage in her intestines before they must operate. She is barely speaking to me because I lost it and yelled at her because she was not following instructions or doing anything to help herself. Since scar tissue is the main cause of her on-going problems, every surgery seems like just a set-up for more trouble. I am praying fervently that it doesn’t come to that.

I thought about starting this post with a question as to how one can sleep all night and wake up feeling as if they hadn’t been to bed at all. I think, though, that I have answered my own question.

All prayers and good thoughts gratefully received,

TSG

26
Jul
13

down and then up

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Categories: Children, Family and Medical
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Yesterday, the doctors took another set of scans of IRP’s abdomen to see how things were progressing. There is still some distension of the area of intestine where the blockage was. They were also concerned that she had not passed anything but gas into the temporary colostomy bag. So, they had the tube put six inches further down so that it is now draining from the small intestine instead of the stomach.

For a bit, this made things worse for IRP. The new position of the tube puts pressure on her right eye socket. It was rather painful. Also, her abdomen began to swell again and was very tender to the touch. Finally, we were having trouble controlling her pain in general.

The nurse brought an ice pack for IRP’s eye. Then, she put IRP’s pain medication on an every-four-hour schedule. The result of these two actions is that IRP is now so comfortable that she is sleeping and moving about in her sleep normally. The tube has also done its work and her abdomen is flat once more. Now, we just need her to pass something and we can begin to look forward to her discharge.

Thanks for all your prayers and well-wishes!

TSG

25
Jul
13

home again; well, sort of

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Categories: Uncategorized

Last Thursday, IRP moved back home. There was “too much drama” at the friends’ house where she was staying. We, of course, were very happy.

Unfortunately, IRP had to go back to the hospital Monday with an infection and an intestinal blockage. The doctors had a tube put in to drain her stomach and the blockage has untwisted itself. The area is still distended, though, so she will be in the hospital for a bit longer while it shrinks nearer to the normal size. This will help prevent a recurrence.

There will be no update on the weight-loss campaign due to the confusion as a result of these activities.

TSG

21
Jul
13

the prodigal returns

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Categories: Children and Family
Tags: ,

Good news! IRP has returned home. In her words, the friend’s house she was staying at had “too much drama”. She first called to ask me what the conditions were for her return. I told her that the only condition was that she let her father and me make her medical decisions for the rest of this year. I told IRP that we would not seek to have her hospitalized again unless she refused to go to the doctor or the doctor told us that IRP needed to be hospitalized.

IRP agreed to these conditions and moved everything back in Thursday night. Thanks to everyone for their prayers. And, thank You to God for His mercy.

TSG

18
Jul
13

now that i’m done complaining

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Categories: Medical, Self-Improvement and Thoughts on turning 50
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After the rant of some weeks ago regarding everything I thought was going wrong, I am ready to do what I can about what I can. With that in mind, I have taken up walking the campus of the college (about 1 mile) every day at 3:00. On Thursday or Friday (whichever is our last day of the week), I am going to weigh myself. I will wear the same clothes and shoes each time so that everything is equal. Today, I am at 246. This is not the most I have ever weighed, but it is uncomfortably close. I will be rounding down if I fall between two numbers both for morale reasons and because of the running shoes. Yes, I am aware that I am not running, but they provide better support. Maybe I will eventually become ambitious and try a little running.

TSG

15
Jul
13

oops!

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Categories: Uncategorized

Well, now there is only one large jar. The other met with a fatal accident. The good news is that the jelly was fairly solid even though it was not completely cooled.

TSG

14
Jul
13

bring on the peanut butter!

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Categories: Uncategorized

The grapes have all been processed and I am the proud producer of two large and eight small jars of jelly. There would have been three large jars, but one broke in the water bath. This happens from time to time, but I do regret the loss of the jelly. Since FMP does not like things to be too sweet, I did not add as much sugar as is usually used. So, the result is a bit tart. It looks like the jelly is the right consistency, but I will not know for sure until it is fully cool and we open a jar. If it doesn’t jell correctly, we will just call it syrup and put it on pancakes.

One large jar will be staying here and my parents will get the other. The rest are going to work for my co-workers. I called IRP and she will be coming by to get one of them as well. At least she is speaking to us now. I hope she will eventually see that we were only doing what we thought was best for her.

TSG

11
Jul
13

an unexpected bonus

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Categories: Look What I Found and Texas my Texas
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Last Saturday, I went to a cemetary to continue my research for a book I am planning to write. I have been to this cemetary before, but never at this time of year. I was surprised to discover, growing up a tree in the middle of the gravesites, muscadine grapes. Fortunately, I had my work gloves in the car. As you may know, the skin of this type of grape is very acidic. Picking them without gloves on often results in chapped hands. And rubbing your eyes by mistake is painful. However, the grapes make a superior jelly, so the extra effort is well worth it.

Since I did not know that the grapes were there, I did not have a basket with me. So, I had to improvise. In the car, I had a small bag from Jack-in-the-Box and another from Barnes and Noble. I also had an empty Dr. Pepper bottle. Using these containers, I managed to pick, and actually make it to the car with, enough grapes to fill my large colander. Getting them out of the bottle required the use of a pocket knife to cut off the neck. The Barnes and Noble bag broke on the way to the car, so I probably looked quite comical trying to hug it closed until I could put it on the car seat.

This week, I need to go back to the cemetary to finish my research. I will bring a basket this time. Then, I will make all of the grapes I gather into jelly. If my family speaks to me nicely, I might even give them some.

Some of you may be wondering why grapes were planted in a cemetary. In Victorian times, it was common for families to picnic in the cemetary next to the church between services and on national holidays. Children have always been children and they would get bored after a bit by the adults’ talking. So, many congregations planted fruit or nut trees so that children could be kept busy. I have been looking for pecan trees, but had not thought to look for grapes. So, that is my happy surprise for the month. If CPI ever gets around to sending me the pictures from his camera, I will add a photo to this post.

TSG

07
Jul
13

I am smart

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Categories: Children, Family and Thoughts on turning 50
Tags: , ,

There! I have said it. I did not say this to brag or boast. I said it because it is a fact of my life and one that is causing me trouble.

I’ve discovered that some people are afraid of anyone who has above average intelligence. I once greeted two of my female classmates on the stairs in junior high after school. They were going up and I was coming down. They obviously did not know that stairwells carry sound. When they were out of sight, one said to the other, “she is so smart”. “Yes,” replied the other, “but she is very sweet.” Thinking on this, I realize that the sweet statement was meant to be an buffer to the smart one. In other words, it was okay that I was smart since my niceness counteracted it.

When I was at home with the children, this was not as much of a problem. However, there were those who wanted to know why I was “wasting” my talent by staying home when I could be sharing it with the world. I think that passing on my knowledge to my children is sharing it with the world. Now, there are four of me where before there was only one. Not many jobs give you the opportunity to quadruple your strength.

When I did go into the workforce, my brains gave me more trouble. One co-worker was so disconcerted that she actually stood up in the middle of a temporary office in a conference room and began to yell at me about something off the wall that I had no idea I was even doing. After patching things up, my supervisor (who has since moved on) told me that the co-worker saw me as a threat to her job because I was smart. I had absolutely no designs on her job and had never even considered what it was.

The biggest problem, though, is me. Yes, I am afraid of my own smarts. Sounds silly, doesn’t it? Never the less, it is true. I often make mistakes half on purpose to keep others from feeling threatened. (PS-EB, this is the main cause of my inability to speak French with the proper accent.) I don’t volunteer for projects whose solution will showcase my thinking skills. Finally, I am in a job where I am greatly underused because I do not want to risk offending others by seeking one that is more of a challenge. Periodically, I have to take one of my Xanax just to keep me calm enough to get through the day. I am antsy because I am bored.

If I could, I would quit tomorrow. Then, if we had the money, I would do research for the rest of my life and write books on what I found. That way, if anyone felt threatened by my smarts, I wouldn’t know it.

But, I hold the insurance that allows us to take care of IRP, so I will go on. I will try to gain the courage to find a better job. Unfortunately, this may mean that I have to go to a new place. I hate new places because I never know who is going to be offended and what they will do as a result.

My greatest fear is that I have passed on this reluctance to use my intelligence to IRP. She is also smart, but she very rarely shows it. Forgive me, sweetie, if I have made you afraid. Be bold and do what your mother didn’t. Love to you!

TSG

04
Jul
13

when did i buy that? and, is it too late to take it back?

By thissideofgaudy Leave a Comment
Categories: Thoughts on turning 50

I have long declared my hatred of, and incompetence at, math. Lately, though, I have begun to consider this. Granted, I failed to learn subtraction correctly in elementary because of someone’s brilliant idea to play a record that went progressively faster in giving problems.

In 7th grade, I told my algebra teacher, Mrs. Exozedus (apologies for possible mis-spelling) that my father said I would never use algebra in the real world and I did not see why I had to learn it. This won me a trip to the principal’s office, my mother a visit to the school and my father an order not to discuss math with me anymore.

However, in 8th grade, Mr. Evers asked me to participate in the Math Club and go to competitions. The club met once a week and we were taught the required mental arithmetic for competitions. It was forbidden to use paper at these events. I only remember one competition. I won a 10th place ribbon, which I suppose is still roaming around somewhere in my parents’ house.

Tenth place may not sound that wonderful, but you have to consider the size of the competition. Even in the late 1970s, Houston Independent School District had a huge population of junior high students. Only the best went to these competitions. Obviously, at this point, I was good enough at math to hold my own.

So, the question remains, “when did I accept that girls were bad at math?”. Regardless of the timing, I have decided that I want to take my purchase back if I can figure out how. I was good at math once and I was much younger than I am now. Surely, I can be again.

TSG