In 1984, I married the Finest Man on the Planet (FMP), who has been kind enough to gift me with three lovely children: the Redneck Tattoo Addict (RTA), the Indie Rock Princess (IRP) and the Comical Preppy Intellectual (CPI). RTA married, so we now have the additional blessing of Mrs. Fun and Adventure (MFA). IRP married Currently the Fiancé (CTF) in October 2018. He is now Mr. Just a Thing (MJT) because, when told after IRP’s final operation that she would have a permanent colostomy, he kissed her and said, “It’s just a thing and you are not a thing”. MJT has a child. The marriage made me an instant grandmother. The child is Grandson Number One (GS1). He lives most of the time with his mother, but IRP and MJT have him every other weekend and a month in the summer.

RTA has informed me that I have not said what TSG means. It stands for This Side of Gaudy from a statement FMP once made regarding my vintage jewelry collection. His job, he said, is “to keep you on this side of the line between loud and gaudy”. So far, he has succeeded.

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