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30
Jul
13

this is a bad day

By thissideofgaudy Leave a Comment
Categories: Children, Family and Medical
Tags: , , , ,

Once more, one of RTA’s brothers-in-arms has killed himself. I often joke about “RTA’s ‘little friends'”, but in reality, their association with my child has made them my sons. And now, another of my children is dead. I often hear of programs designed to prevent such things, but they don’t seem to be helping much from my point of view. I can no longer count (although I am sure RTA can remind me) how many he and I have lost. RTA and one of my other sons have an idea that I think will probably be more effective since they have been there. My prayer is now that they will find the funds, the will and the help to succeed. I am willing to do anything to help them. Anything to save my boys. If I hurt this much at this remove, I cannot imagine how RTA and AVB (Andrew of the Volleyball), his business partner, feel.

At the same time, IRP is in the hospital with the doctors trying one more thing to clear the blockage in her intestines before they must operate. She is barely speaking to me because I lost it and yelled at her because she was not following instructions or doing anything to help herself. Since scar tissue is the main cause of her on-going problems, every surgery seems like just a set-up for more trouble. I am praying fervently that it doesn’t come to that.

I thought about starting this post with a question as to how one can sleep all night and wake up feeling as if they hadn’t been to bed at all. I think, though, that I have answered my own question.

All prayers and good thoughts gratefully received,

TSG

26
Jul
13

down and then up

By thissideofgaudy Leave a Comment
Categories: Children, Family and Medical
Tags: , ,

Yesterday, the doctors took another set of scans of IRP’s abdomen to see how things were progressing. There is still some distension of the area of intestine where the blockage was. They were also concerned that she had not passed anything but gas into the temporary colostomy bag. So, they had the tube put six inches further down so that it is now draining from the small intestine instead of the stomach.

For a bit, this made things worse for IRP. The new position of the tube puts pressure on her right eye socket. It was rather painful. Also, her abdomen began to swell again and was very tender to the touch. Finally, we were having trouble controlling her pain in general.

The nurse brought an ice pack for IRP’s eye. Then, she put IRP’s pain medication on an every-four-hour schedule. The result of these two actions is that IRP is now so comfortable that she is sleeping and moving about in her sleep normally. The tube has also done its work and her abdomen is flat once more. Now, we just need her to pass something and we can begin to look forward to her discharge.

Thanks for all your prayers and well-wishes!

TSG

21
Jul
13

the prodigal returns

By thissideofgaudy Leave a Comment
Categories: Children and Family
Tags: ,

Good news! IRP has returned home. In her words, the friend’s house she was staying at had “too much drama”. She first called to ask me what the conditions were for her return. I told her that the only condition was that she let her father and me make her medical decisions for the rest of this year. I told IRP that we would not seek to have her hospitalized again unless she refused to go to the doctor or the doctor told us that IRP needed to be hospitalized.

IRP agreed to these conditions and moved everything back in Thursday night. Thanks to everyone for their prayers. And, thank You to God for His mercy.

TSG

07
Jul
13

I am smart

By thissideofgaudy Leave a Comment
Categories: Children, Family and Thoughts on turning 50
Tags: , ,

There! I have said it. I did not say this to brag or boast. I said it because it is a fact of my life and one that is causing me trouble.

I’ve discovered that some people are afraid of anyone who has above average intelligence. I once greeted two of my female classmates on the stairs in junior high after school. They were going up and I was coming down. They obviously did not know that stairwells carry sound. When they were out of sight, one said to the other, “she is so smart”. “Yes,” replied the other, “but she is very sweet.” Thinking on this, I realize that the sweet statement was meant to be an buffer to the smart one. In other words, it was okay that I was smart since my niceness counteracted it.

When I was at home with the children, this was not as much of a problem. However, there were those who wanted to know why I was “wasting” my talent by staying home when I could be sharing it with the world. I think that passing on my knowledge to my children is sharing it with the world. Now, there are four of me where before there was only one. Not many jobs give you the opportunity to quadruple your strength.

When I did go into the workforce, my brains gave me more trouble. One co-worker was so disconcerted that she actually stood up in the middle of a temporary office in a conference room and began to yell at me about something off the wall that I had no idea I was even doing. After patching things up, my supervisor (who has since moved on) told me that the co-worker saw me as a threat to her job because I was smart. I had absolutely no designs on her job and had never even considered what it was.

The biggest problem, though, is me. Yes, I am afraid of my own smarts. Sounds silly, doesn’t it? Never the less, it is true. I often make mistakes half on purpose to keep others from feeling threatened. (PS-EB, this is the main cause of my inability to speak French with the proper accent.) I don’t volunteer for projects whose solution will showcase my thinking skills. Finally, I am in a job where I am greatly underused because I do not want to risk offending others by seeking one that is more of a challenge. Periodically, I have to take one of my Xanax just to keep me calm enough to get through the day. I am antsy because I am bored.

If I could, I would quit tomorrow. Then, if we had the money, I would do research for the rest of my life and write books on what I found. That way, if anyone felt threatened by my smarts, I wouldn’t know it.

But, I hold the insurance that allows us to take care of IRP, so I will go on. I will try to gain the courage to find a better job. Unfortunately, this may mean that I have to go to a new place. I hate new places because I never know who is going to be offended and what they will do as a result.

My greatest fear is that I have passed on this reluctance to use my intelligence to IRP. She is also smart, but she very rarely shows it. Forgive me, sweetie, if I have made you afraid. Be bold and do what your mother didn’t. Love to you!

TSG

26
Jun
13

the free house project 3 or will blog for storage

By thissideofgaudy Leave a Comment
Categories: Family, Look What I Found and Spouse
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We are on a temporary (I hope) hiatus from this project as FMP is distressed at the amount of stuff I have found and brought home. So, I am looking for a place to store the materials. Maybe, I can find a conservation group who would like to sponsor the free house project to make a point. When I find a place to keep it all, I will let you know.

TSG

25
Jun
13

the free house project 2

By thissideofgaudy Leave a Comment
Categories: Family, Look What I Found and Spouse
Tags: , ,

FMP has declared that, if I am going to pursue this, I must get rid of other things that we have in the house from previous adventures. I intend to make this so.

Yesterday’s material:
Seventy-one flat and forty-three curved edging red brick tiles 6″ square-from a field near a recently completed restaurant and suitable for an entry hall.

TSG

24
Jun
13

The Free House Project 1

By thissideofgaudy Leave a Comment
Categories: Family, Fun, Look What I Found and Spouse
Tags: , ,

I am always fussing at FMP about the amount of material that is wasted in construction. Last Saturday, I found that it is also wasted in destruction. I stopped by a former storage facility that is being bulldozed. Everything is being swept into huge piles and then discarded. Some of the units were still standing and I found usable things in them. This gave me an idea.

I have bet FMP that I can find enough material in five years to build us a house. If I win, he buys land and we make plans. If I lose, the whole shebang goes to Habitat for Humanity. Either way, someone is getting a new house.

I am starting with the following:
Five porch pillars-The bottom 3-4 inches are rotten, so one of our clients had to replace them. They are still tall enough to support a porch of average height.
Three opaque glass 5’x3′ windows-Found at the demolition site and of the kind placed above garden tubs.
Linoleum tiles-Found at the demolition site and enough to floor a laundry room (dimensions to follow).

Found includes, obviously, anything on the side of the road, in the trash, etc. It also includes what I deem usable off-cuts from FMP’s cabinetry adventures, anything I am given free (but not if someone bought it for the express purpose of helping me win) and anything I win in a contest. Also, if I find anything that is saleable, but not useful for a house, I may sell it and put aside the money for anything I don’t find. Appliances and HVAC are not included in the challenge.

Oddly, even my brother-in-law, who sometimes thinks I have lost my mind, believes this can be done. FMP would like to point out that he has not yet agreed officially to the bet. I would like to point out that he has had a week to say, “No!”. I realize that some people may feel this old-fashioned, but if FMP says I can’t, then this entire project will come to a screeching halt. Someone has to be in final charge and FMP is it.

TSG

16
Jun
13

Happy Father’s Day

By thissideofgaudy Leave a Comment
Categories: Family and Parents
Tags: , ,

In the sixties, when I was born, most men wanted a son first to carry on the family name. My father just wanted a child. The fact that his first-born was a girl didn’t faze him at all. He was delighted. He was every bit as delighted when my two sisters followed me in the next four years. It was not until six years afterwards that a boy was born.

My father taught me that I could do anything that I determined to do. He never met my suggestions, no matter how wild, with scorn. Instead, he provided me with the tools and taught me the skills necessary and then let me go. Now, when someone tells me that something can’t be done, I tell them to get out of the way.

When I was ten, I decided that the tall cylinders my mother’s hose came in would make great pencil holders if I could just melt the top to make a hole. My father got a small blowtorch and taught me how to use it. When I had the hang of it, he left me outside with instructions not to point it at my sisters or the house. At the time, I was so proud that I could handle something dangerous all by myself. Now, of course, I know that my dad was nearby watching just in case. The pencil holders were a great hit as Christmas presents for grandparents, aunts and uncles. This was my first experience in learning that homemade gifts are the best.

Today, my sisters and I all work in education. We help others reach their goals, even if they seem difficult or impossible. People who have never met my father are benefiting from what he taught us. My brother is a lawyer. We tell him that three sisters were excellent trainers in arguing.

Thanks for everything, Dad! I love you!

TSG

14
Jun
13

Aaaaahhhh!!!!

By thissideofgaudy Leave a Comment
Categories: Family and Spouse

After all the help we had from work, my family, etc. when IRP was ill, we did not feel we could ask for more when the compressor on our central air went out. So, with the help of a cool streak in May, we have been making do with fans and open windows.

Fortunately, FMP, who is currently in charge of the budget, has solved our dilemma. By industry and thrift (two almost forgotten words), he has saved enough extra to buy window units for our room, CPI’s room and the living room. I have just gotten up from a lovely nap in our cool room.

Thank you, FMP, for your hard work for our family! I love you!

TSG

PS–Mom and Dad, if you are reading this, we appreciate everything you have done for us. We just could not, in good conscious, ask for anything else.

11
Jun
13

Here for the Party!

By thissideofgaudy Leave a Comment
Categories: Children, Family, Friends and Fun
Tags: , , , ,

When I graduated high school, my mother began the tradition of taking the graduate out for dinner with four of his/her friends to the restaurant s/he chooses. CPI chose P.F. Chang’s. We had so much fun that it was almost illegal. One of CPI’s friends has mistaken the day and had to be lured away from another graduation party. We ate huge amounts of delicious food and topped it off with dessert. In all, we spent two hours. My mother and I paid and got the leftovers together and waited for there to be a break in the fun. After twenty minutes, we stood, gathered our things and edged towards the door. Realizing that we were alone, we turned back to discover the “children” absorbed in conversation and laughter. Finally, I said, “CPI, we are leaving”. Everyone looked at us in shock.

Here is a picture of, from the left: L, M, H, CPI (in the suit) and G. Don’t they look pretty/handsome and happy?! I think so.

TSGMericandtheGang

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